ent, okay? no, not you, not you, and not you. the three of you, sit. get out! okay, i think we can all agree that this game is the most important thing that ever happened to us, right? - absolutely, yeah... - it's very important... - that's the truth. - it's a hugely important thing. so because i'm a nice guy. you know, 'cause i'm a cool dude, i'll let you live, all right? but, mac and frank, you got to give me your shares of paddy's pub. done. - what? - yes! and, dee, you're gonna have to do all the charlie work in the bar from here until-- oh, i don't know-- how's eternity sound? - [in bad british accent] stop, charlie. this game has gone on long enough. [in normal accent] uh, shit. - are you doing an accent? - yeah, i was doing a british acc--it was a british accent. - that was british?. - yeah, i had it so good in my head-- i was doing a really good british accent. doesn't matter. anyway... charlie, you think you have all the power? well, you don't. you see, the only thing bigger than a king is a god.

- you think you're a god? i'm the one who's thriving, dennis. i mean, look at me. - you look like you're covered in hawaiian punch. - yeah? - yeah. - mm. - i am the god of my own universe, charlie. i decide my own reality, and i've decided all of your realities as well. so, you see, i unplugged it. - you...unplugged reality? - i don't understand what he's saying. - me neither. - i just--i deleted all of your characters from the game. - what? - i erased all your...people. - h-how did you do that? - well, it was easy. you guys all have the same password: "paddyspub." - oh, that's my password for everything. - mine too. - why would you do that, though? why would you delete our characters? - because the goddamn game was irritating to me. i thought it was really stupid, and it really is just, you know, sort of that simple, so i ended the game, you know. that's the end. doesn't have to be a whole big thing every single time. you know, that's life. that's just sort of how-- how shit goes. [chuckles] sometimes things just sort of... end.

from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with jon stewart. captioning sponsored by comedy central ["the colbert report" theme music["daily show" theme song playing] dhawz. [cheers and applause] >> jon: welcome to "the daily show". my name is jon stewart. we have a very nice program for you tonight. my guest ambassador to to unitee united nations susan rice is here. we don't know how we got her on the program but perhaps it's a valentine's wish. want to give a quick shout out to the lovers out there some of whom are clearly lying.

all the lovers that thought it might be a good idea to take their significant other on the cruise for the holiday and ended up stranded at sea spending six days crapping into a plastic bag or as the germans call that, the love boat. [ laughter ] [cheers and applause] cnn has been on the case for some reason giving this boat crisis wall to (bleep) covered wall coverage treating a stalled cruise ship like it's the shackleton expedition. >> it's a great moment to visually connect you to the daughter you have not seen in seven days. >> jon: yeah, you are not heros, guys. it's not a hostage situation or a baby in a well. you reconnected them. they weren't supposed to see each other. she's on a cruise for a few days. [ laughter ]

meanwhile, the ship of stool enjoys 24/7 coverage and a slow tug job back to mobile, alabama, while other stories remain remarkably under the radar. >> heads of state and leaders from 57 islamic countries excluding syria are in the two day capital for the meeting. >> jon: interesting but are they (bleep) in bags? if they are not -- i see it's the oic. not as catchy as islamapalooza but it will do. [ laughter ] are you getting that? all right. the oic led by secretary general ekmeleddin ihsanoglu or as his

friends call him -- yeah. they say how walking off private plan planes is for chumps. check that bad boy out. escalators out of planes. let me tell you something, you think that's cool? nobody outlazies america. that's how you get off a plane in the muslim world. guess how we're going to get off planes from now on? what is up bitches. [ laughter ] what is up, bitches. [ laughter ] but for middle east watchers, the biggest news was the participation of iranian president mahmoud ahmadinejad the first time an iranian head of state visited egypt in more than 30 years. >> for morp than three decades

they stayed away. many expect a cordial relationship between iran and egypt but not one where they are best friends. >> jon: they are not going to be besties. friend of a friend like a friend's college roommate. you are cool with each other except you like the eagle and he like the giants except replace the eagles with you believe in the holocaust -- bless you wikipedia. not everyone in egypt feels the same way with the iranian leader. >> a protester threw his shoe at ahmadinejad. >> the shoe didn't connect. it hit a security guard. >> that security guard, it has been reported now has athlete's face. [laughter] you know, i imagine that

throwing your shoe at a leader is not an easy crime to get away with. who threw that? ahhh -- [laughter] clearly this conference deserves the attention, if not the world, at least basic cable. [ laughter ] so john oliver sat down with ioc general ihsanoglu to learn mow. >> yesterday i had the opportunity to sit down with the secretary general of the oic, the man who has the ear of every head of state in the islamic world and beyond. what pay chance to understand the subtle intercaseys of entire muslim world. congratulations of your recent summit. >> thank you. it went very well. >> you serve as the voice of islamic countries. >> that's right. that's by the virtue of the charter. >> what does that voice sound

like? does it sound like ahh i'm going to (bleep) kill you. ahhh. i'm going to kill your family? arrgh? because occasionally that is how it request come across to us. [laughter] >> well, the voice which you kindly imitated is a voice of marginal groups but the voice of masses, the voice of one and a half million people is the voice of moderation. >> it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to repair america's relationship with the muslim world and what better way to start than with brutal honesty. here is the problem with america and the islamic world. we don't know what to do. okay? we tried everything. we tried special envoys. we've tried interventions, we've tried wars. we've tried giving you money, not giving you money. i'm just trying to understand what the islamic world wants

from america. it's literally never occurred to us to ask you this question before. >> take the problem of terrorism. if you think that killing terrorists are the solution to solve the problem of terrorism, they then we are the problem. >> that might be what we think. >> when you kill one terrorist you breed ten terrorists. >> right sometimes it feels a bit like whack a mole. you whack one another one turns up somewhere else. they are in iraq, whack, now they are in syria, whack. now they are in malley. where is mali? >> there's a need to have a comprehensive outlook and to deal with the problems and the short history of using the wrongs against terrorists. there's been certain measured

mistakes by killing innocent civilian people. >> people don't want the drones then? >> you have to care for the legal ethics, it's not only that your pushing your own national interests. >> it's clear human rights infraction and it has to stop. >> so no drones. of course. every good relationship has to be based on an ability to listen to one another. >> this is where we as oic are trying to explain to the whole world that we need to have open communications channels to understand each other. >> okay, so this is a peace pillow. okay? now, whenever somebody is holding this it's a safe space and they get to say what they like about the other culture. okay. i'll go first. we sometimes find you frustrating because sometimes

you blame us for things that happened a long time ago and you've got long memories and you remember too many things. okay, so now you go. >> well, i think the muslim world is frustrated sometimes with the united states because it does not understand the problems of the muslim world. the image of the united states invading iraq, ininvitedding afghanistan, et cetera. >> all right, okay. >> i want to make reference to two things. in the first when president obama was first integrated i probably -- >> okay, okay. >> i have the pillow, please allow me to continue. [ laughter ] this is the best ideas and expectations and we hope that the president is -- >> you can be very annoying because we find it hard to read

you and you should listen to us as well because i feel like it doesn't happen much. after hours of intense discussion finally a breakthrough. we found the one area that would fix iferg instantly. >> one important idea. this is the issue of muslim world. the palestinian issue need it's be solved. this is really the most sensitive issue that needs the care of the administration. >> that is great. so all we have to do to build a relationship with the islamic world is solve the arab israeli conflict. >> i think that would be a major contribution. >> we had done it and now toll seal our historic agreement in the traditional manner and then bang. bang, up top. pound it out. and blow it up. >> thank you. >> maybe not the um, otherwise

we're good. hasel tof. >> my pleasure.

>> jon: welcome back tonight she's the united states ambassador to the united nations. please welcome back to the

program ambassador susan rice. ambassador -- [cheers and applause] how are you? >> i'm great how are you? >> jon: doing very well. last i saw you, you were epitomizing the focal point of opposition rage towards the administration. how does that feel? >> feels good to be out of the hot spot. >> jon: it was. so you had to go on the sunday shows on i guess it was september 16, after the september 11 attack in ben ghazi and -- benghazi. why did you have to do that? you are the ambassador of the united nationses? shouldn't it be someone else? >> actually, jon i spent maybe a sunday doing the shows. secretary clinton was asked to do it. having been through quite a

pretty intense week with the loss of our colleagues in benghazi, the violence against our embassies all over the arab and muslim world and that friday having to join president obama in grieving the families of fallen colleagues and bringing their bodies back. i was asked as i've been in the past and i said i would. >> jon: they hand you a -- they give you a sheet and say this is what happened? >> what happened in this particular instance is -- in all instances when you prepare you go through the background materials ant prep tory process. >> jon: so you prepare for the sunday shows? >> yes. >> jon: i've seen the sunday shows. [laughter] so what was the -- on that day, the basic point was as far as we know this is related to demonstration based on ape -- on

a movie. we think there might be extremists involved. we don't know the whole thing yet. >> i shared the basic information our intelligence community had. they were wrong in one respect we learned subsequently. we learned there wasn't a protest. >> jon: many were testified. they are holding up hagel's confirmation because they would like more information about benghazi like while the president call the individuals involved while it was going on? i think. i did not prepare for this so i'm not sure. >> you know, jon, there's been some 20 briefings of members and staff. there's ten hearings on this topic and 10,000 documents, more than 10,000 documents provided to congress. there's ample opportunities to understand what is going on.

>> jon: can i tell you the problem? too many documents. >> maybe. >> jon: here is my opinion. there's an undercountry of what the -- undercurrent from the republicans that suggests a malevolent of this. here is what strikes me as odd. you get talking points on november 16. patreaus told congress the c.i.a. didn't change the talking points. white house and state said they didn't do it. white house told the news changes were made because they pt didn't want al qaeda tipped off and the director of national intelligence said they made the changes because the al qaeda links were too tenuous. then they said the f.b.i. did it and the morrell said i did say f.b.i. i didn't mean f.b.i. i meant c.i.a. and then panetta said he believed at the time it was a preplanned terrorist atafnlg you can see for people it looks like there's a great deal of confusion there, yes?

>> there's always confusion when you have a tragedy of that sort and americans are killed. the bigger, tragedy, though, jon, is we spent all of these months trying to figure out origin of talking points which were cleared at the highest levels of the intelligence community. in my opinion, not enough time doing the service we owe to our fallen colleagues. >> jon: this gets to my point though. this gets to my point. [cheers and applause] i think that's a great point. but this gets to my point. in the leadup to the talking points, there's a lot of people pouring over what you are going to say? c.i.a. is saying take out the word al qaeda put in the word extremists. there's passed up and down the chain to solidify what should be said during that period. that bow correct? >> yes, really over the weekend.

>> jon: fascinating conversation. it endedptlyruptly>> jon: here f

it and then it will be on the web after that. [laughter] there's a lot of different agencies involved. they are page a great deal of attention to it. when i watched the testimony of hillary clinton they said to her, the ambassador to libya sent an e-mail saying, i need more security. and she said, yes, i didn't see that one. it struck me how much attention was being paid to what should be said about this yet very little attention was paid to that e-mail. why is there a bureaucratic system in place so tenacious with the explanation but yet seemingly abdicates a little bit of responsibility for the initial thing. would you say it's a fair comparison? >> here is what i would say, jon. we have brave americans, men and women serving in our diplomatic posts all over the world. many of them in very dangerous

places. they do that at great risk and great sacrifice. >> jon: sure. >> tragically we have attacks and we lose americans. we have an accountability review board. the independent panel that is appointed to investigate exactly what went wrong. we had that in this instance. former ambassador and admiral mike mullen. they found a lot of things had gone wrong well. respect to security provisions. with respect to communications within the state department, all of that they made recommendations for how it ought to be rectified. we ought to focus on what went wrong, why it wrong and how we get it right. >> jon: i get what you are saying. do you think rather than the bureaucracy this, goes throughout washington is more tenacious and detail oriented when it comes to the political aspects of their jobs and sometimes less efficacious when

it comes to some of the more brass nuts and bolts things. >> i don't think so. look, folks were doing their very best with what they had and it wasn't good enough. >> jon: do you feel good about the changes being made? do you feel they are being made and implemented. >> secretary clinton as she testified in her last week in office has been cleared that the state department is committed to implementing every one of those recommendations. that needs to be followed up and ensured it happens. i work with these men and women every day. >> jon: sure. >> they are committed, patriotic americans. they are not lazy. they are not political. they are career servants. they feel it more than anybody when it's their colleagues who get lost and killed. in this instance as in the past we'll do our best to make sure it doesn't happen again. >> jon: what is the morale like in those institutions that feel that loss and feel like

they didn't do the right job? how are they doing with that? and is there concern for that amongst those folks? >> there's a sense that this issue was politicized. >> jon: right. >> we've lost what matters most. how do we protect our people going forward. the president has been clear his top priority is protect americans whether their depp mats, serving in the armed forces wherever they are around the world. that's what we have to focus on. >> jon: if you had a thing to say to those who still believe there's a secret under this and are pushing for it and holding things up what would you say to them and please feel free to take like a sailor, if you want. [ laughter ] -- talk like a sailor, if you want. just saying feel free i don't mean vulgarity i mean only

nautical terms. >> they are dead wrong. >> jon: they are dead wrong. >> they are dead wrong and doing a disservice to those we l